This proves to be harder than I thought. Here's all this empty space in front of me, begging to be taken up by words, and I can't think of a damn thing to say. Oh, I have a lot to talk about -- a whole myriad of issues, if you'd be so kind. I have things to prove, issues to ponder, hearts to break, and demons to slay.

I've recently become very alarmed at the amount of sweat produced by my underarms. More specifically, I'm very alarmed by my right underarm, which seems to be, most days, an ocean of...well, sweat. Is it how my shirts bunch and gather? Is it how hard I'm exerting myself? Is it the heat? Nerves? Excitement? What is causing this mass production of vile, stinky sweat? I would really like to know. Nothing, short of stuffing my pit area with towels, seems to stop the onslaught. Am I doomed to have a tropical rain forest hanging out under my right arm? (I don't want to give you the impression that I'm au natural; I do shave regularly. It is just SO DAMP sometimes.)

Another thing that alarms me? My incessant need to prove myself to people who used to think I was lame. That's not to say I'm not lame now but I'm certainly less lame than I was ten years ago when I was in high school. It would appear that my high school reunion is turning into a big party instead of a get-together for a bunch of people who graduated together. Is it really necessary to invite people who weren't in your class? It's not like anyone in my class is married to the people from the other classes. And are they going to invite everyone from the classes directly above and below us or just the people they ('they' meaning those in charge of organizing this trip down amnesia lane) like or who fit in with the It Crowd in high school? I would almost be willing to put money on the fact that none of the people I'd like to invite would actually receive an invitation. It isn't fair that I feel like I'm back there again, being harassed about my weight, my looks, my questionable sexuality (I'm straight now, just like I was in high school and it could be argued that I'm less straight now than I was then), and just me in general.

Why do I still feel the need to change everything about myself to be acceptable to them? I have nothing to be ashamed of. My life has direction and meaning and all that crap. I'm happy, I'm doing what I want, and I love my life. So why do they still make me feel like an absolute toad?

I swear, if I end up attending this little shindig, I'm going to need a bottle of vodka and a few Xanax to get through it without strangling them all.